Reflections on leaving India

My trips here are always emotionally important events. I learn much about myself and find myself challenged about how I see the world. Each time I leave, I depart a different person. Tonight, in the early hours, April and I will leave Chennai for home. This morning we travelled from Auroville up to Chennai, a trip of about 3 hours.

On the way, I saw myself reflecting on the constant contradictions that this country presents. There is absolute poverty within a growing and dynamic economy. On the way, you see new housing enclaves being built for those who are benefitting from the growth. Streets in Chennai are snarled with traffic increasingly made up of cars versus motorcycles – also a byproduct of the growing economy. The air quality in Chennai is poor and my eyes were burning after only an hour in the traffic. Local buses belch pollution visibly.

En route I also saw tremendous beauty that is India. Mango groves, palm trees, forests, coastlines, temples. In the days before leaving, I have seen life at its best. I have been in the company of intelligent people who are challenging things that need to change.

While here, Anna Hazare has led a fight against corruption that has captured the attention of the country, if not a good part of the world. In conversation at breakfast yesterday with two Indian families, they spoke of the desire for change, the end of corruption and honesty in government. They talked about how corruption has crept into even minor day to day transactions such as the man delivering the cooking gas insisting that he be paid extra for carrying the canister into the house.

Part of what I was doing here was teaching two separate groups about child sexual abuse. This occurs here at rates that are quite high, although we are certainly not exempt in the West by any extent. I met mothers in villages who bravely listened about this topic, something that is not often talked about. Yet, today I read about a headmaster at a school who has been sexually abusing girls for years, but both the victims and the families resist putting in police complaints. I met social workers here who push that India will no longer tolerate this. I also read about the Manitoba Mennonite Colony is South America where sexual assaults have damaged a community’s life. While here, I also read about the conviction of Warren Jeffs in the USA for sexual abuse. Thus, I know that the efforts to stop sexual abuse are needed broadly but change will occur only if we keep seeking it.

I have met ordinary Indians who have welcomed me and treated me with such dignity and respect. One young man at a place I ate regularly asked me to come and watch him play cricket. Another young lady brought April flowers for her hair. Amas (ladies who work at guest houses) who have known us from past visits have come up to us on the street or at cafes to say hello and wish us well. We have been invited into homes. It has been such joy.

We are a privileged society in the West in some ways but we too are struggling with a growing picture of poverty as economies falter. Here, if you have money, very good health care is easily available at prices that many in the west see as ridiculously cheap. If you want an arthroscopic surgery on your knee, you can have it tomorrow (no wait list) for about 60,000R or about $2600. The divide is such, however, that health care is far less effective if you are poor.

I was fascinated driving in to pass a large banner of Terry Fox. It was advertising the upcoming cancer run. It reminded me of the power of one person to capture the imagination for change. Anna Hazare has also done that. I asked myself, in daily life, how too do we also create the spirit of change and refuse to accept a status quo that fails too many people.

Why is that we have a world where one child will be served breakfast and another, like the child I saw this morning, will walk around barely clothed, squatting in the street to go to the bathroom.  Sri Aurobindo observed, “The idea of human progress itself is very probably an illusion, for there is no sign that man, once emerged from the animal stage, has radically progressed during his race history; at most he has advanced in knowledge of the physical world, in Science in the handling of his surroundings, in his purely external and utilitarian use of the secret laws of Nature. But otherwise he is what he always was in the early beginnings of civilization; he continues to manifest the same capacities, the same qualities and defects, the same efforts, blunders, achievements, frustrations. If progress there has been, it is in a circle, at most perhaps a widening circles…” In a world where we still have corruption, war, abuse of women, child physical and sexual abuse and the increasing incarceration of mentally ill, have we indeed mad any progress!

I read that Asia has been the source of spirituality in the world while the West has been about industry and intellectual pursuit. I wonder if those lines are weakening, as this growing economy stands taller – but the spiritual is fortunately very much at the core of this country still.

It is the brave people here who stand for something different and work toward it that are the signs that hope exists.

I look forward to my return next year to find out what else I will learn.

Real Change in Indian Villages

Tomorrow I have the chance to teach to a group of people who have affected real change in villages throughout the area. They have gone in to help create a series of programs that allow men and women to do things in their own communities. This is real community action at play. One of the leaders, a social worker named Anbu, is a skilled worker and therapist.

The program helps to create self help groups; micro finance programs; mediation, community development. This is the kind of program that we teach about in university but here it is in action. Essential the Village Action Group has found a way to take the theory and show that it can, in fact, be done

A simple example is finding ways to do micro financing which is an idea created by Prof. Yunnis in Bangladesh. If the local moneylender is allowed to flourish, he will charge a rate of 90% per year. This leaves the borrower in a no win, dependency situation. If, instead, you can create small loans and charge rates that are typical of the banks, then you create room for progress. The projects can be entrepreneurial in nature or help a community with clean drinking water.

The VAG is also helping families address difficult topics such as domestic violence and the rapidly growing problems of alcoholism.  I am impressed with the way that they can bring groups of villagers together to talk about difficult issues that may not have been addressed otherwise. An example is relating to each other while breaking down the still present caste barriers.

The program connects villagers with health care service and increase environmental awareness.

They are also trying to work with the psych social issues that can be so profound here. This region of India has one of the highest suicide rates in the country. Thus, they are bringing counseling into the picture.  Anbu has told me of some of her work which is quite skilled and reflective of the best principles of social work – respect for the client; empowerment; patience; availability; communication and a view to how the client will take long term ownership of her life.

This is how real social change occurs in communities. VAG doesn’t own the change – it facilitates it. The communities come to own it. They take on leadership.  They now work with some 80 villages and hamlets.

The program is now almost 30 years in the making. Quite revolutionary, when you think about it, particularly in rural India where traditions can hold on. When I was here last year, I was told a story about a small project in a village nearby where children come to play and do homework, The project leaders had managed to spruce up the building. The landlord wanted a new high rent or to take the building back. Young men from the village got together to force the landlord to allow the project to continue.

I am excited to have been invited to give a workshop to these amazing people who are having profound impacts on so many villages. More after the training day on Saturday!

Some thoughts on my experiences here around child protection

Over the last year, I have had the opportunity to see some child protection efforts in South India. My involvement has been fairly minor offering some support in training and case management. However, the experience has taught me much more which is often the case when you get a chance to experience social work from a different perspective.

There is much that we have in common. Parents want their children to grow up and be successful, independent adults. They hope that their children will do better in life than they have done and also that they will marry and bring grandchildren into the world. These sound very much like the hopes and dreams of many throughout the world.

But there are serious problems facing children in India which can include the poverty that so many media reports have highlighted. Yet, this is also a society which is seeing a burgeoning upwardly mobile middle class as well. Indian government documents, and those from NGO’s, however, suggest that India has a major challenge to address abuse of children, particularly sexual abuse. It is estimated that over half of children in this country are sexually abused in some way. This is a frightening statistic.

The process of change is underway. Media are talking about it bringing the subject out from the shadows. I have heard stories of women, multi generational groupings, share their stories with each other, cry together and bring the truth at least amongst themselves. It adds to the dialogue. Little conversation is openly apparent around changing how boys are brought up.

One teacher told me that he estimates that 95% of girls in his village are subject to “eveteasing”. This term refers to various forms of sexual harassment. I suspect that girls in Canada might also describe high levels of this if leering and sexual commentary are considered part of the picture.

Sexual tourism I am told is a growing problem here. This is in the form of children being trafficked as well as pedophiles coming to India. One agency told me that pedophiles are coming to the country under the guise of volunteering with NGOs. In addition, here in Asia, they are talking about international adoption as a way in which children are being trafficked. Surrogacy is an emerging way in which child trafficking is occurring.

Alcoholism is a growth concern as well. This matters as it relates to child and spousal abuse. I was told of a case where, in a drunken state and to get back at his wife, a father doused his son with kerosene intending to light him on fire. I am uncertain what stopped the father but I can only imaging the long term impact for this family.

Solving child protection concerns in India is complicated by the lack of a formal national or statewide system. It appears to be fragmented and inconsistent. Of course, pedophiles and sex tourists find this attractive, as it is less likely that they will be found.

I am uncertain what impact corruption has on child protection here. It certainly is one of the hottest topics in the media at the moment as a Ghandian , Anna Hazare, is engaged in a very high profile hunger strike to get the government to take what he views are effective measures to stop it. It is viewed as very widespread here and affects many aspects of life.

As always, I have learned far more here than I can ever give in my meager efforts to support one group. India remains an immense, beautiful land with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I have been invited into homes, had chai with magnificent individuals and met people who are committed to the process of change.

On Saturday I have a unique chance to teach a seminar to a group of people who work with children and families in small villages. It will be a challenge as it will be simultaneously translated into Tamil by an amazing and talented social worker and therapist that I have met. More on 

The spirituality of this place

An at times uncomfortable reality of Auroville, is that the spirituality of this place can whack you over the head. You end up experiencing things or coming face to face with emotions that you would prefer to avoid. Being open to these experiences matters and will help to shift your own understanding of self.

This is apparently one of the snails you should avoid. You can tell how long he is because that is his tail inside the pipe

During the 3 weeks that we have been here so far, I have been busy with doing focus groups and training. There is more to come in the final week. In between, I have been trying to look at myself. This has been done in various ways with contemplating at the Matrimandir as central to the effort.

Self-reflection is a powerful tool as long as the ego can be quieted long enough to hear the other life messages. In our busy day-to-day lives of work, friends, social obligations and getting the chores done, it is easy to avoid having to look at this stuff. Distractions can be wonderful ways to avoid. Here in Auroville, there is lots of time to reflect.

When you begin the process, you start to see things that you don’t like. Behaviors that get in the way of being who you seek to be; relationships that you have underperformed in; duties of fatherhood that I have been deficient in; being less of a husband that I could have been. Yet, all of these are also about coming to grips with being a fallible, imperfect human being.

For me, one area that has been coming up on a regular basis is the role that spirituality has been playing in my life – and at times, not playing. As a young man, the Catholic Church deeply and negatively impacted me. Growing up, I was subjected to emotional and often physical abuse by the brothers at the school I attended. I came to see in my adult years how the Church not only condoned that but much more, as the serious physical and sexual abuse scandals became more and more apparent. I felt like a minor player on life stage of brutality in the name of religion.

As an aside, I am stunned to learn that just last week, there was yet another case in the United States where a bishop failed to act to protect children from a pedophilic priest. And no, this was not a case uncovered from the past, it was going on very much in the present.

These experiences from childhood and young adulthood caused my to reject the Church. It has left me spiritually wandering since then. While here in Auroville, I read Mitch Album’s lovely little book, Have a Little Faith. It reminded me that having a real spirituality is not about the relationship with an institution, but with a higher power whatever you call it. It is this that I am rediscovering here.

I was fascinated to see a group of mothers and children here from the People’s Republic of China. They were staying in the most expensive guest house in Auroville and demonstrated group behavior that reminds me that any large national group travelling together from whatever country, will demonstrate undesirable behaviors. Doesn’t matter which nationality!

Before coming to Auroville, they attended another spiritual place, The Oneness University that is also a place for spiritual development. That a group from this communist country would be wandering with children to spiritual activities is curious. They have certainly been taking the activities in here.

Also showing up from time to time are various Indian VIPs frequently with military or police escort. Thus, I found some irony in a sign posted at the Matrimandir the other day stating, “No Firearms Past This Point.” Not, in my mind, a typical sign around here. 

My lovely wife - also a delightful cat in the background. We had one ion a restaurant yesterday hop up on her lap asking for treats.

As India progresses so do some problems

I had an interesting conversation about the growing prosperity in India. This followed my trip to Chennai, a large city some 3 hours away from where I am staying. In Chennai, the streets are clogged with traffic making getting around an all too familiar challenge found in large cities worldwide. The smog (from various sources) is so bad that traffic police now wear surgical masks. Most who ride two wheelers (being mainly motorcycles and scooters) also wear something to cover their mouths.

Chennai is making some interesting steps - there is a new rapid transit system under construction.

But in the conversation, my friend noted that, as the prosperity grows, so does the desire for cars and SUVs. This occurs in a country where the infrastructure is not well set up for a significant increase in four wheeled traffic. With prosperity comes complicated problems to be solved.

I had the opportunity to visit the Tulir Centre for the Prevention and Healing of Child Abuse. It is run by two quite amazing women who are able to talk about and confront one of the most difficult issues facing children across the world. This includes sexual abuse and assault, exploitation and trafficking. When I was in Turkey earlier this year, I also met two women running a centre for victims of child trafficking in Saudi Arabia.

I think that what struck me the most, is how often we are focused on the victims. We pay attention to the hurt that they experience - there is no doubt that is tragic. A hope is that women will increasingly find the strength to talk about what has been going on and be empowered to say no. But how do you say no to the person who is staring; the one who doesn't accept no; the person who feels that the sexual abuse is somehow normal.

this of course raises a very crucial piece of the puzzle - we must find ways to change the behaviour of boys. This is about ensuring that they no longer see teasing, sexual harassment and assault as in some fashion justifiable. That is a major educational goal that affects families throughout the world. It is hard work.

The centre also sees a growing problem here in India with the role that the internet plays. In the West, this is not news but serves as a very good reminder that much sexual harassment is done through the electronic means - texting, phone images, internet and other forms of instant messaging. Again, when I was in Turkey, an Australian researcher, Dr. M. Campbell, showed how powerful electronic tools are in keeping the harassment going 24 hours a day - and there is no safe refuge. You just can't get away from it particularly for technology dependent youth.

Child protection must go where issues develop and certainly what is acceptable for boys in a culture has profound impacts on what happens to girls.

Their blog is worth following at http://www.childsexualabuseinindia.blogspot.com/ 

Their website is, by their own description, text heavy. But it also has some quite interesting material - http://www.tulir.org/  For those in South India it is in English but also in Tamil.

India Independence Day 2

The bonfire at the Matrimandir

We began the day getting up at 4 a.m. to attend the bonfire in celebration of Sri Aurobindo's birthday. It is also Independence Day. The bonfire represents an opportunity to reflect on one's own meaning and purpose. The mother woke that the master is in us but also changes shape. Now there is a thought to meditate upon.

The full moon hung above us as the bonfire burned and daylight slowly crept in.

This is a special day in India so that there have been day and weekend visitors in large numbers. This has meant that our favourite haunts are quite crowded. Thus, it has been harder to get my daily chai teas in.

This trip to Auroville has been busy in some ways but in others we have been rediscovering the value of quiet and peace.

You may recall that I said that I was going for a bath in an emulsion that includes turpentine oil. It turned out to be quite pleasant and I am even going for a follow up. It apparently helps to detoxify you. We will see how it goes.

April after the bonfire

India Independence Day

India is about to celebrate Independence Day. We will start the day by going to a bonfire at the Matrimandir at 4 a.m. Here we will have  a chance to meditate with the words of The Mother and contemplate one's place in the universe.

Knowing that Independence Day was upon us, I picked up a novel on the partition of India which led to the creation of what is now Pakistan and Bangladesh. The book included a series of photographs taken by the famous American photographer Margaret Bourke-White. She was one the founding group of photographers with Life magazine.

She chronicled the devastating transition tat occurred as partition became a reality. Some 10 million people were on the move with Sikhs coming into what would be India and Muslims leaving for Pakistan. There would be religious strife and something in the order of a million people would die in the process. Villages that had been harmonious between religious groups were torn apart and former friends and neighbours became enemies.

The photographs are stark, terrifying and document a trail of death that is horrifying. I don't pretend to really understand partition. The line between India and Pakistan was arbitrary. India and Pakistan have had a tense relationship for much of their joint histories and it remains so today.

                                                The Sri Aurobindo statute in Auroville

This history stands as a stark reminder that the history of the world is littered with these stories.

This past week I have had the privilege of running some focus groups here. It reminds me how exciting focus group processes can be as conversations lead to insight and creative thinking. What really struck me is how different each group was despite the consistent questions and topics. It was an enriching experience for me and reminds me of how lucky I am to get to participate in this community.

A walkway near us

Next week, I am going to Chennai, some 3 hours north, to visit the Tulir Centre for the Prevention and Healing of Sexual Abuse. Their website is fascinating and helps one to see how many common themes exist around sexual abuse between India and the west. It also illustrates difference. Their site is worth a look - http://www.tulir.org

Termites in their hollows

I look forward to giving you more details on Tulir after the visit.

It was a dark and stormy night

The storm arrived after dark, although not an unexpected guest. Clouds had been building during the afternoon. This storm arrived though, with a force. Picture lightening that is so frequent that the sky is light more than it is dark; picture thunder that is so frequent you would think that the lead drummer of a famous band was at work in the sky. And the rain – ah the rain. It would be easy to think that you were on the set of some B Hollywood movie where an over anxious prop guy was standing on the roof with a fire hose trying to fake a storm. Yet, there were streams of rain coming off the roof that felt like there was a small but powerful waterfall above you. This went on for 45 minutes or so.

Throughout the night and again this morning, the power has been on and off several times. This means that the ceiling fans that keep the most, hum air in motion can eb absent creating a heaviness to the air at times.

the cows manage to eat the Palm Tree fruit that falls all over the place. Very fibrous. Many around on the ground after last night's storm

The smell of the air is magical so we went outside (under cover) to watch and breathe in this magical aroma. The night watchman told us that we must watch out for snakes escaping the building pool of water in the central courtyard. He had seen one escaping already.

It seems odd that, in a place where monsoon rains are part of the annual cycle, that drainage has been built so poorly. The courtyard was building into a pool before our eyes that was destined to overflow and then creep towards the room. There was no alternative.

Yet, this morning we wake to only a tiny pool inside our front door, the pool has vanished and the air has a humid coolness to it, the early morning bird song and chirps are a symphony at work. The watchman wanders around picking up flowerpots overturned in the storm.

Behind us is a construction site. There is a hole in the ground that is now a pool. Like boys all over the world, this invites attention. Four lads gather at the side, picking up rocks and engaging in a contest to see who can throw the farthest rock. Such simple joy.

This is the kind of intense rain that turns roads into muck; floods lowlands and feeds dry soil while filling reservoirs. It is a mixed blessing but for most, a blessing. There had been rains a few days ago, albeit not so intense. Yet, the day after in Pondicherry, the city about 8 km from us, we found stores that had been flooded. One was a favorite lunch spot denying us a stop as they tried to clean up. Last night’s storm, more intense, will create more flooding for people’s homes and businesses. A familiar cycle from which clean up will then occur. It will be interesting to catch the news in the next few days to see what longer term damage there has been. 

after the rains, the boys found a pool to throw stones in

Sweating in Meditation!

It is hard to imagine sitting in a well ventilated room with the wind sauntering through while you meditate, that you would also be sweating up a bucket full. But there I was doing just that this morning. The silence is a wonder as you wander into the sensations in your body while also surrounded by the sounds of birds in the yard outside. If you let your mind wander, as I regret I do sometimes, you can also hear the daily funeral processions in the background.

After meditation, we wandered to one of our favorite Sunday brunches with a wonderful array of Indian food. The problem with buffet anywhere in the world is the self discipline to say enough. Thank heaven there was a chai in offing which persuaded me from wandering back into the line. Costing 190 rupees or just under $4, this is an unmitigated luxury!

It is quite evident that tourism is down. The guest house that we are now at has ourselves and one Italian couple. Cash flow is a strain. You can see it all around. There are definitely fewer tourists – noticeably so. This is true here in Auroville but also in Pondicherry.

On the flight from London to Chennai, we noted that, if you took off the Indians coming home or to visit relatives and looked at the pure tourist business on the flight, the plane would be not a quarter full. We also noticed that it was a smaller plane versus the one this time last year.

News of the American credit rating downgrade is all over the papers. The price of gold here is skyrocketing. Westerners who have lived here a fair while talk about the impact that the economic crisis is having on tourist traffic. This is admittedly not the high season of travel in India – that comes from around December to late March. But one does have to wonder at this point.

Our bedroom

The welcome frog at the door

There is some sentiment here that the American economic crisis is a manufactured one by large American corporate interests who seek to ensure that Obama will not be re-elected. Interesting that such thinking would be around here.

Adjusting to the heat

Today is a relatively cool one - only 32 C. With pretty high humidity though. When there is wind, it is a blessed relief for a few moments. Then you start to come to grips with sweating - its just what you do in the sub continent - get on with it!

I have learned that there are some important truths:

1. It is almost impossible to drink too much water;
2. When riding a motor bike, the wind is not going to help much. It just reaches down and sucks up whatever moisture is on your skin leaving it sandpaper dry.
3. My eyes require a good sleep so that they can get the sand and grit out.
4. Chai tea solves everything.

This morning we were heading out for a walk when a friend met us. She was on her way to an impromptu concert by an Indian raga singer. It is hard to describe this trance like singing that draws you into it. You find yourself floating into an altered state as you follow the flow of the tones up and down combined with a subtle beat.

This was followed by meditation and then, (oh I bet you can't guess) chai!

Tomorrow we will participate in a half day silent meditation. On Monday, the focus groups for the child protection team begin.

Back in Auroville

Our arrival this year has been a bit more difficult. The guest house that we thought we had booked is not the one we had in fact booked. I like cats - don't get me wrong - but over 20 of them is too much. I woke up one morning to faeces outside the bedroom door. And there was ongoing construction which was way overdue its completion (not unique to India as anyone who has done renovations will know).  It was too much so we moved.

Our current guest house includes breakfast on the terrace with white linen - the lap of luxury. It is a bot expensive but with India's national day o August 15, it was hard to get a consistent booking anywhere that carried us through most of our visit here.

I am quite excited to meet old friends as well as new (such as this guy above). In particular, I am honoured to be doing some work with the Auroville Child Protection Team. One aspect that I am most looking forward to is being able to visit the Tulir Centre for the Healing and Prevention of Child Abuse. They have a blog that includes the story of a man who committed suicide after being unable to resolve the effects of sexual abuse in his childhood. It is one of the most moving and powerful personal accounts that I have read. It can be found at http://www.childsexualabuseinindia.blogspot.com/

So I will let people know how the work goes - obviously in a general sense.

India has been treating us to warm, humid days but very lovely. I also got to have thali today - an Indian lunch that consists of rice with a variety of small dishes to blend into the rice. It is one of my favourite meals here. There is a northern and southern India version so April and I had one each.

India remains a complex sensory experience with many contradictions such as a growing middle class that is quite evident while the poverty remains around it.